"Listen to me. I said you need to strive to better than everyone else. I didn’t say you needed to be better than everyone else. But you gotta try. That’s what character is. It’s in the trying.”
It all began with Friday Night Lights.
About 15 years ago, after over 10 years of a TV hiatus, I was lured back into watching TV when I became hooked on a show centered around a small town in Texas and football – Friday Night Lights.
Little did I know at the time that this incredible show wasn’t really about football at all.
It was a show about life.
I suppose to some, football is life. (Wink, Wink, Ted Lasso!)
To me, football was simply a sport, one I knew little about and had no yearning desire to learn more.
Until Coach Taylor and Mrs. T thankfully hijacked my attention.
Until Friday Night Lights changed my outlook and my life.
After binging every episode ages ago, I decided to begin watching it all over again this weekend!
I’d run out of new shows after successfully binging through the last season of Ozark, the new season of Bosch and the new surprise hit wonder, The Lincoln Lawyer. (BTW – highly recommended and the lead actor is HOT! Just sayin.)
Not a bad slate for a former Rom Com Queen who’s far more at home with Emily in Paris than Narcos.
Back to Friday Night Lights and Coach Taylor.
This show is loaded with “mic drop moments” – profound one liners and meaningful teaching moments.
One such moment caught my attention last night. It was a scene between Coach and his wife, Tammy Taylor – a mom and now guidance counselor for the very students that Coach “coaches.”
Tammy is the archetypal feminine mama, oftentimes the softer side of the power duo.
Basically the scene went like this. Coach walked into the house a bit on the pissed off side. He’d lost the first critical game – a game he felt his team should have won – a game he needed to win.
Tammy went into compassion – for the players. For the team.
Coach, in essence, told her now wasn’t a time for compassion. His players didn’t need compassion. What they needed was a good ass whooping.
And, off he went in the pouring rain, to do just that. Kick some ass!
It turns out, that’s exactly what they needed.
By the end of the ass whooping, the players were transformed from unfocused pity party-ers, soaking wet and all, to kick ass football players, with hearts lit back on fire.
Together, one by one, they began belting out, “Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose!”
What does this have to do with us kooky humans?
Absolutely everything.
Inside of us are a wide variety of aspects of us (ass-pects – pun well intended!)
Inside of us lie saints and sinners.
Angels and devils.
Coach Taylor Badass and Sweet Mama Tammy Taylor.
Compassionate parts and ass whooping aspects.
Tough love and empathy.
Sometimes you need one or the other, but you’ll find in life, you need a little bit of both.
The problem comes into play when we get stuck in one aspect when we should be in another.
Many times, we head down the path of compassion and forget to take a detour over to our badass kick ass side before it’s too late.
It’s human nature to get stuck in self pity or anything that’s holding us back from a good ass kicking.
Sometimes, all we need is to kick our own asses. To access our inner Coach Taylor – to light some fire under our tushies and to get back up and out there to do what we need to do – not necessarily what we want to do.
Sometimes, we need to dive deep into our divine masculine energies (yes, we all have them!) rather than staying under the covers, coddling ourselves with our sweet divine feminine energies.
Grit & Grace.
There is a time and place for both.
Trust me, I know.
I almost got stuck in Grace – in the pity party – in the Woe Is Me routine.
Lyme disease can do that to a person.
It kicked my ass. Not in the good way, but in the way that led me down the pity party path.
The path that leads to quitting because shit’s so tough … when the losses make you feel like you can never win again.
I almost got stuck there.
Until my daughter Coach T’d me and gave me a good ass whooping.
Her message? “This game is not over.”
I needed it – until I was strong enough to do it for myself.
Today, I’m far more in touch with my divine masculine side. I’ve got my inner Coach Taylor on speed dial. I can ring him up anytime I’m spending too much time on the pity party path.
You can too.
Life is a balance.
We all need Grit & Grace.
The perfect life is an ideal balanced combination of both.
Cheers Beauties! Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose.
Here are some helpful tips I learned the hard way (I usually do!) to help you to stay balanced between the two energies:
- Choose an accountability partner – someone who trust – who you can turn to for an honest conversation when you feel yourself slipping down the pity party path.
- Be open to what your partner has to say. It’s best if this person feels safe and nonjudgmental.
- An easy way to know when you’re headed down the path and need a detour is when you’re losing energy, perhaps staying in bed too much or simply in a negative frame of mind. The tricky part is that it can feel challenging when you’re energy is low to make a change. This is the exact time that you must do something to generate new energy.
- How to generate new, fresh energy: Do something different. If you’ve been sleeping in, set your alarm 15 minutes earlier each day for 4 days. Then, get up one hour earlier and use this time as a Power Hour! Meditation, exercise, yoga and inspirational reading are wonderful ways to light a fire inside of you.
- Change your pattern! Step one is awareness. Become aware of when you’re slip sliding away from a positive path into a negative path or pity party. It’s far easier to catch yourself at the beginning than at the end of a long pity party. The more you learn to interrupt the pattern, the easier it becomes.
That’s it, Beauties. Most of all, find what works for you and keep it simple. Stay out of judgment and into awareness. Be the observer of your life and I promise you’ll become less and less of a kooky human!
Need More Moxie?! See all my Moxie On Monday's!
